Dissecting the Cassie Euphoria Morning Routine

It’s hard to imagine that getting up at 4am would end with me looking better that day, but the Cassie Euphoria morning routine has reached icon status for its unbalanced desperation (and ultimately, success, sort of). Portrayed brilliantly by Sydney Sweeney, Cassie’s 4am morning routine is a massive undertaking for anyone, but if you’re up to the task of winning the albeit fleeting affection of the toxically masculine high school quarterback, here’s the breakdown.

Wake up at 4am. This step is arguably the hardest. Preferably, as an upgrade to that triggering iPhone alarm Cassie uses, set your alarm to the show’s Shy Guy by Labrinth.

Shower, wash your hair, exfoliate and shave. Any good Gen Zer uses Olaplex, and Cassie’s round exfoliating brush is this one. Hot take: shaving is exfoliating, so your skin might be kinda raw, but that’s the price of Cassie Howard level beauty.

Robe up, curl your hair, and eye patch. Get your fluffy robe, apply some Peter Thomas Roth eyepatches, and wrap your hair with light blue heatless curling ribbons. Somehow, these actually work.

Get ready to roll.

This deserves its own paragraph, because this girl does all the rollers. Ice roller, gold massager, gua sha, the works. Ice roll your jawline and chest (décolletage, if you prefer). Save a bit of dough with this 2-in-1 set to get the gold massager and little T shaped gua sha guy in one go. Use the gold vibrating massager with squalane and peptide serum on your forehead, chin and chest. Use the T-shaped guy on your forehead, in lieu of getting Botox at 16 years old.

Did you think you were done rolling? No. Gua sha your lovely neckline with a tool like this. Of course, you have to use the ubiquitous rose gold roller too on your cheeks.

Put on a cold gel mask. Hopefully, you left this in your freezer overnight. Better than coffee.

Obvi, moisturize. Cassie uses SheaMoisture Illuminating Body Lotion all over, because everything on Euphoria should glitter.

Apply lash serum. Cassie uses the viral Grande Lash Serum in the morning (I personally use eyelash serum at night before bed, but if it makes you look like Sydney Sweeney, I’ll try anything.)

Trim your nose hair. No, really. Here’s a nose hair trimmer, because this is the level we’ve descended to.

Spray on self tanner. This Neutrogena one is great.

A Word on Cassie’s Makeup and Hair

The routine as it’s shown is skincare-heavy, so we don’t see a lot of the final details on Cassie’s makeup and hairstyling. We can see light blue, pink, and creme gold eyeshadow looks, but it’s the white eyeliner with jewel appliques that finally achieves her goal. We also see her sport apparently clip-in bangs, and probably a ponytail extension.

Hopefully, at the end, you look like this:

And Nate still won’t notice you.